We Got Hugs

Vol 3 No 8

The following is a transcript of the little speech I gave at the Honors Dinner on October 30, 2018.  We had an amazing gathering of faculty, students, staff, and alumni where we shared food, stories, hugs, tears, and laughter.  For those who came, thank you.  For those who did not - I hope to see you at next semester's dinner.  :)

There is a Tweet that keeps popping up on my Facebook feed that says “we have officially hit the point in the semester where every college kid is at least half sick, probably in the midst of an emotional breakdown, and very behind in several classes.  Please be nice to us. We’re trying our best and we all just need a hug.”  This has resonated with me for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that it is also true for faculty – but that isn’t really important right now.  What gets me about it is that I first saw it right after I sent out the Honors Study survey and, for those of you that did it, you’ll remember that there was a question on there that asked what concerns you face as a student.  The top three responses are so telling:  Time management or procrastination (73%), stress (71%), and (tied for third) work load and mental health (49%).  Ouch, right?  It rather makes me wonder how different the responses would be if I had asked at the beginning of the semester.  Part of me thinks they would be radically different, but part of me thinks that Honors students tend to be aware enough to know that they face these things regardless of what point of the semester we happen to be in.

Lately, it feels like I do nothing in my classes but teach content and talk about the crises we are facing in the world around us – the barrage of dark and painful news that greets us each day and makes many of our hearts hurt.  But, as much as we are members of communities both large and small, I think that it is equally important to acknowledge that our individual worlds are in flux as well.  This is not a permanent state and, in some cases, it’s just par for the course as we watch October die into November and realize how few short weeks there are until the end of the semester (seven, counting Thanksgiving, if you’re wondering).  I mean, this is what you all signed up for as students right?  You are rapidly becoming used to this, if you haven’t become so already.  I mean, it still hits you like a ton of bricks every time, but at least it’s not catching you entirely off guard anymore. 

 …right.

Anyway, this feeling becomes even more pronounced for Honors students, and not because the courses are harder, exactly, but because the demand on you is a little bit higher.  Sometimes – okay, nearly all of the time – this demand on you comes equal parts from yourself as well as your faculty.  37% of you wouldn’t value class discussions more than other aspects of your Honors courses if you weren’t actually participating.  It’s hard to hide when its seminar seating, and personal reflection requires a certain amount of vulnerability.  That teaching style that over half of you value most in your instructors?  If we break it down, it’s one that challenges and expects you to be more engaged, attentive, and self-aware than you might have to be elsewhere.   We know that, and, for the most part, we also know that you are up to the task.

But you are so tired.  I can see it in your faces and in your postures.  I can sometimes tell it in the work you are doing.  I can hear it in what you say and how you say it.  I read it in your Facebook posts and in your informal writing.  But I can also see that you are not giving up.  You still have your dreams and your big ideas, you still come to class and engage in those conversations you love so much, you’re still planning for the future.  You’re poring over course offerings as you build your schedules for next semester.  You’re looking at colleges and transfer programs, and wondering what it will be like at a whole new school.

And you’ll make it.  You’ll figure it out.  Some of you may stumble and need to regain your footing, but you’ll make it.  You may make it in a way that you never expected, but you’ll make it.  I’ve seen it time and time again in countless different ways.  Those stories, some outwardly big and some quietly so, are what make every day that I do this – in the face of my own exhaustion – worth it.  I mean it when I tell my students that they are going to change the world.  Even if the only person they change it for is themselves.  And I know that my fellow faculty feel much the same.   You will make it.

One of the things that will sustain you is….well…coffee.   But, beyond that, it’s the people around you.  They understand better than anyone the pressure you are under and the pressure you put on yourself.  In their own way, they are doing the exact same thing and who better to be there to help shore you up than someone who also needs shoring up for the same reasons.  Get help when you need it, lean on one another, stay focused, have goals and make sure you take time out for yourself.  Go play in the leaves if it ever stops raining.  Or just go play in the rain.  Go bowling and have a chuckle at how low your score is.  Or at least laugh at the shoes.  Do art.  Make words.  Sing at the top of your lungs.  Jump up and down on your bed.  Laugh until you can’t breathe.  Binge watch some Netflix.  Make an ice cream sundae and eat it without guilt.  Get together with other students and have some pasta…oh, wait.  Good job!  In other words, do whatever makes you truly happy for a little while. 

And then get back to work.  Because no one can do this for you; in the end, you have to stay the course and do the work on your own.  You chose the path you are on and you have to be the one who walks that path.  You have to do the work and make the grades and be satisfied with the results.  Or you have to accept that you’re going to fail this time, but that it isn’t the end of the world and you can learn from failure.  You can always pick yourself up and do better next time and mistakes can be the most amazing teachers.  No matter how it all plays out, you have to realize and accept that all of it really is on you.

But if you need a hug?  You’ll find one in Honors.  From me, from a classmate, from another faculty member.  We’ve got hugs.  All you have to do is ask.