Here is a Stick

Vol 3 No 12

Hello, friends.

Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Mental health issues in general.  Finals.  The Holidays.  Any number of things can cause us to long to run away and hide.  We all face challenges of varying levels of difficulty as we go from day to day.  It can make even the smallest task seem daunting.  It can become harder to eat, sleep, socialize, be productive.  And now that we are in the last few weeks of classes, I am sure that this sounds like a familiar song to some of you. 

The title of this blog comes from an owl named Boggle.  In the post, Boggle explains a few things about asking for help and about the things we can do for one another.  And for ourselves.  

I want to tell you that you are going to be okay.  In order for that to be true, though, I need you to do something for me.  Or rather, for you.

What I need you to do is get a 3 x 5 card or something similar and write the following words on it:

I AM WORTH IT

Then, on the back of the card, write down that you are worth the following things:

·        Self-care

·        A good night’s sleep

·        Fun and adventure

·        A good meal

·        The help of a friend

·        The help of a professional

I suspect you are starting to see where I am going with this.  Only one of those things is bolded and that’s because all of the other ones fall under that one main one.  I encounter students everyday who are not engaging in that first bullet in one way or another and I want so badly to be able to help them.  One thing I can do is to tell you that you are worth taking the time for self-care.  I think too often we feel that we have to push ourselves to distraction without stopping to breathe and relax.  But this relaxation is so important.  We have to stop and focus on ourselves now and then or all of those outside forces will keep pulling on us.  So, what is self-care?

“’Self-care’ refers to the active process of recovering, maintaining and improving one’s health” (Ziguras).  I love that this definition includes three levels of health – which means that it applies to all of us, regardless of our general mental health status.  Engaging in self-care means that you need to accept that you are worth caring about.  You are worth the care you give yourself and the care that is offered to you by others. 

And how do you engage in self-care?  Well, that depends a little bit on who you are, because “[f]orms of self-care are as numerous and diverse as the number of people who practice them; they run the gambit from extreme workouts to binge-baking sessions” (Carlson).  So engaging in self-care means that you need to know a little bit about who you are.  You really need to know what brings you some small measure of happiness or relaxation.  It can be anything from reading a book for a little while to practicing yoga, playing a video game to going for a walk, doing 50 jumping jacks and painting your toenails to watching cat videos for twenty minutes and drinking hot cocoa.

You notice something there?  Self-care does not have to involve that you wholly sacrifice your academic or professional success.  One of the most liberating things we can accept is that self-care does not mean giving up on your tasks or delaying your responsibilities to a dangerous level.   Self-care does not have to take hours of your time, nor does it have to cost a lot of money or require you to go anywhere in particular.  What it all boils down to is taking the time to do something that will help you relax and refocus.  Without these moments of indulgence, our stress and mental health runs the risk of becoming too much for us to handle.  We have to let some of the pressure off – reward ourselves for hard work and persistence, for doing something difficult or making progress on a project.  Self-care “doesn’t need to be anything elaborate” nor do we “need to do it all at once;” we just have to remember that “trying to fit in the basics is a great place to start,” because that will “give us a solid foundation to work from” (“Self-care”).

YOU ARE WORTH ALL OF THIS.

This said, I cannot stress enough that if you get to the point where you feel you cannot handle the stresses in your life, you should seek out someone you trust and get help.  Help-seeking is one of the most important and the hardest things we can do that falls under the category of self-care.  There is no shame in asking for help and although it might be difficult, it’s one of the most important things you can do.  We have counseling services on campus, and there are numerous faculty and staff who can help you find the services you need.  Don’t stay lost and alone if you can’t handle the stressors in your life.  Help is out there for you.  It is a sad truth that “despite the relatively high prevalence of elevated stress and mental health difficulties in college students, research has consistently revealed that most students who have a problem do not seek help” (Hubbard, et al).

FLCC Counseling Center 

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

Better for me is finding the best possible way to live and function while having struggles. I want to continue to grow and understand why my brain works the way it does. I want to learn how to prevent myself from closing off when I’m hurt. I want to put the work in and be able to stay rooted and confident in myself, my beliefs, and my mental state. I want to be the best me (Milner)

Works Cited

Carlson, Melissa. “Finding Health and Happiness the Write Way: Blogging as Self-Care Within Student Affairs and Higher Education.” Vermont Connection, vol. 36, Jan. 2015, pp. 23–30. EBSCOhost, ezproxy.flcc.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=eue&AN=101367094&site=eds-live. Accessed 3 Dec. 2018.

Hubbard, Kimberly, et al. “Stress, Mental Health Symptoms, and Help-Seeking in College Students.” Psi Chi Journal of Psychological Research, vol. 23, no. 4, Fall 2018, pp. 293–305. EBSCOhost, ezproxy.flcc.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=132602564&site=eds-live.  Accessed 3 Dec. 2018.

Milner, Alex.  "The Reality of 'Getting Better.'"  To Write Love on Her Arms.  26 Nov. 2018, twloha.com/blog/the-reality-of-getting-better/.  Accessed 3 Dec. 2018.

“Self-care for Busy People.”  Blurtitout.org.  The Blurt Foundation, 24 Oct. 2017, www.blurtitout.org/2017/10/24/self-care-for-busy-people/.  Accessed 3 Dec. 2018.

Ziguras, Christopher.  Self-care:  Embodiment, Personal Autonomy and the Shaping of Health Consciousness.  Routledge, 2004.  Google Books.  books.google.com/books?id=CksXt89K-6QC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false.  Accessed 3 Dec, 2018.