Gender, Self, and Respect

Vol 3 No 7

I borrowed this blog from a Facebook post and changed nothing about it except to write this intro.  This is not a post that is directly related to Honors Studies, but it conveys a message that I think many Honors students can relate to.  This is a manifesto of someone who doesn’t fit into what society has decided is a mold and has had enough.  They are speaking up and becoming a voice for what they believe in and, more importantly, for who they are.  In Honors, and beyond, the people are dedicated to supporting students as individuals who are looking for a place to fit in.  Who may be looking for home.  There is adamancy in this post.  There is anger.  There is a determination that many of you will recognize.  There is also bravery…and I encourage all of you to hear the voice, and then to share your own voice, tell your own story, stand up for what you believe in and who you are.  And, when you’re ready, turn to the person next to you and do the same for them.

The author of this blog is April Broughton, Honors Studies librarian and adjunct faculty member, and one of the amazing library staff here at FLCC.  They fully embrace the message of Honors and many of you will know how dedicated they are to bettering the lives of students.  They carry a special torch for Honors and I think many of you will see why…

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This post brought to you by current political and social discourse and some stunningly callous, cruel, and inhumane comments read online.

My pronoun is ‘they’. Simple as that. I am not going to force you to use my preferred pronoun, I am not going to enforce compliance to my preferences. I simply expect you to respect me as a person enough to respect that preference and to act on it as best as you can. To not argue the invalidity of my preference, as to do so would suggest such a deep lack of regard for myself as a person that perhaps it would be best if you moved along.

Most importantly, your opinion does not invalidate my existence. Your denials flung in the name of grammar, of religion, do not invalidate my existence.

Grammar is a weak shield to offer. It is an avoidance of the fact that language is a living thing, and needs to be. I say this as an academic, a librarian, and an author. We need words to describe the world around us, to describe us. We sit in our meatspace, engage in slacktivism, and fuss about our First World Problems. Language has to be able to shift. And you do not get to pick the shifts you approve of while denying others. That aside, if your argument against using ‘they’ to refer to an individual of undefined or undesignated gender is a grammatical one, you have no ground to stand on. Yes, the use for it in regards to nonbinary individuals is more recent, but it has evolved from precedent where it has been used as an identifier for individuals where the gender is unknown or not important. Which seems to fit rather perfectly within the modern nonbinary usage. Merriam-Webster has an excellent brief discussion that can be read here: https://www.merriam-webster.com/wor…/singular-nonbinary-they

Religion is a weak shield to offer. We do not live in a theocracy, despite attempts to the contrary. I am free to practice my beliefs and not impose them upon you. I kindly ask the same respect from you. Refusing that request puts you as the aggressor and not as the self-righteous element you try to present as. My identity has no effect on your religion as I am not a part of it. Your choosing to be impacted by me is simply that, a choice. And it does not bear the weight you would like it to.

I repeat, your opinion does not invalidate my existence, does not invalidate me.

My personal identity, my ‘me’, consists of what makes me a person. What makes -me- a person. Not the bits you have decided should make up a person. The bits of my identity, the things I identify and hold dear. Only I am responsible for my self, my actions. You see the me that is specified by my attributes. You see my social roles, my habits, capacities, my skills. You may even be inclined to push an identity onto me, seeing my base biological attribute of girl-ness, and determining how I should fit in socially and culturally. You don’t take into account my identity, my inner coherence relating to emotional and cognitive states, the way I experience a sense of continuity of the self. Identity in the sense of a continual creation and integration, of self-consciousness and awareness. The me of self-determination. The me that you ignore in your drive to push an identity upon me, one that fits your narrative. I am responsible for my own narrative self. That self persists and exists despite your perceptions and opinion.

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Let's say it again...

...your opinion does not 

invalidate my existence...

"I Was a Different Person Then"

Vol. 1 No. 17

I'm teaching an Honors Seminar in Alice and Wonderland this semester and it always amazes me how much the journey of that little girl echoes the experience of Honors, at least metaphorically.  I was also recently reminded about how the word Honors is received sometimes.

Last week I was in a meeting with a member of administration who is also a faculty member and she said something that I think rings true for a lot of people.  In short, she said that the word Honors scares her.  That’s one of the things that I’ve been trying to battle since I took on the mantle of Director.  In the high schools, Honors gets attached to things like the National Honors Society and even at the college level we talk about graduating ‘with Honors.’  All of that leads, of course, to confusion.  Carrying on the defining of things that I started last week, I thought I would do the same thing with the word 'Honors'.  According to the National Collegiate Honors Council, which is a national organization that is centered on Honors, it’s really not about the “smart kids”:

Honors education is characterized by in-class and extracurricular activities that are measurably broader, deeper, or more complex than comparable learning experiences typically found at institutions of higher education. Honors experiences include a distinctive learner-directed environment and philosophy, provide opportunities that are appropriately tailored to fit the institution's culture and mission, and frequently occur within a close community of students and faculty.

As you can see, it’s all about HOW classes are taught and the impact of that methodology rather than the relative intelligence of the individual students.  It’s about making connections (there’s that word again) with the content and with the people who are with you on your learning journey.

Now, it goes without saying that more academically minded students tend to gravitate towards Honors, but it’s also appealing to students because of what is taught and how it is taught.  I’ve encountered so many Honors students who realized that it was something that they had within themselves rather than something they had to bring with them.  Sometimes, it's not about who the student is, but who the student CAN be.

Take the student who fell into ENG 101 Honors with me last semester and came up at the end of the first class to ask if I thought he should stay.  He had only signed up because the time fit his schedule and he didn’t realize it was Honors.  I told him absolutely – the support and camaraderie he would experience would help him succeed.  He ended semester by writing a note in his attendance folder that said, “Thank you – I went from summer school to a 34-page portfolio.”  That made me feel pretty special as an instructor, but it really says more about how powerful the Honors experience can be – and that has as much (or more!) to do with the students and what is built together as it does with what the instructor alone brings.

Or consider the student who signed up for ENG 230 because she wanted to read The Lord of the Rings and is now pursuing Honors recognition.  I recently asked her if she would have believed it had someone told her two years ago that she would be a student of Honors Studies in college and she replied with “No way.  I probably would’ve cried thinking they were mocking me.”

Some seek out Honors.  Some find it by mistake.  Some visit, but then head away again not to return.  Some are changed forever by the experiences they have in their Honors courses.  College really is about finding where you fit and then making the most of the time you have there.  Honors is no different in that regard.  I hope each of you find what you are looking for and for those who find it in Honors, we are glad to have you here.

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.” – Alice from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland

“This above all: to thine own self be true” – Polonius, in William Shakespeare’s Hamlet